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* It's good to suffer loss, for it draws me to the Cross where God's loss is more than what anyone ever lost. * We cannot hear what the stories of the Bible are saying until we hear them as stories about ourselves. * Let go of control. * Trust God. Thank God. Think about God. Talk to God. Talk about God.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Manipulative Christian Leader

No one likes to be manipulated or to feel manipulated. Sadly, every person's sinful default is to control and manipulate others to do what we believe they should do. Church leaders are not exempt in being manipulators. They might even be the worst possible manipulators because they know how to skillfully use the Bible to justify their manipulation of others in their church. This post, how-to-spot-a-manipulative-church-leader, helps you to identify manipulative Christian leaders.

A Christian leader who is manipulative will:

Never be truly vulnerable. They will never tell stories about their weaknesses. If they do, those stories will be about how they are too strong, too devout and too many other things that are more or less humble brags.
Always have the true answer, and truth is truth because they said it. The truth is the Bible is complex, but a manipulator knows they can't get you to submit if they don't have ALL the answers. Certainly trained pastors have answers, but nobody has all the answers. Manipulators do. They want to tell you how to live.
They make you jump through hoops. If you want to get married, you must go through hours of classes so they can approve. If you want to be a member, you must sign a contract or a statement of theological belief. Now many wonderful churches do this sort of thing, but when there is a manipulative leader, you'll normally find an endless number of hurdles to jump over. They want to test you, over and over, to make sure you're being submissive.
They will never let you off the hook. A manipulative leader can never, ever let you be fully free in Christ. There must always be something wrong with you or else you will no longer need them and will no longer have to submit.

This post identifies 5_reasons_why_your_leadership_might_be_manipulative:
  1. You don't give all the info.
  2. You don't inform all people.
  3. You inform the wrong people.
  4. You give wrong info.
  5. You give no info. at all.

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