FORSAKEN (2024 Key Verse)

Found guilty as a criminal. 2023 began 2 weeks after 6 armed FBI agents came to my house unannounced at 7 am and hand-cuffed and arrested me. I was indicted and charged with serious offences of defrauding the U.S. government and committing health care fraud for an online job I did for 5 months in 2019. I reviewed charts of patients who had cancer or a family history of cancer to decide whether or not to order a genetic test. Unbeknownst to me, there was a fraud that involved labs and multiple marketing companies that targeted medicare recipients. I knew of this only after my defense attorneys informed me. I was paid $26,800 while the lab billed Medicare for 9 million according to my indictment. In Aug I went to trial. After 3 emotionally exhausting weeks 12 jurors found me guilty on one charge. On Feb 29, 2024, I will be sentenced and will receive prison time of up to 5 years and fines and forfeitures.

I Know My Sin (Psalm 51)

Read Psalm 51 and 2 Samuel 11:1-12:13.

Sin will take me further than I want to go.
Sin will keep me longer than I want to stay.
Sin will cost me more than I want to pay.

• Why do you think you sin (1 Jn 2:16; Eccl 6:7; 5:10)? Is sin a big deal?
• Can a man reveal your sin (Jn 16:8)?
• Do you commit adultery and murder like David? See Exo 20:13-14, 17; Dt 5:17-18, 21; Mt 5:21-22, 27-28; Prov 5:20; 6:24-25; Rom 7:15, 17, 18, 19, 23. Did David break any other commandments?

1. What are 3 words in reference to God (Ps 51:1)? 3 verbs for cleansing and 3 nouns for sin (Ps 51:1-2)? 
• What is the basis of David's plea (Exo 34:6-7; Mic 7:18)? Why (Eccl 7:20; Rom 3:23)? 
• What is the difference between mercy and grace? Does he deserve mercy? Is mercy a license to sin?
2. How did his sin affect him (Ps 51:3, 8, 12; 13:2; 38:2, 6)? Who is ultimately offended by his sin (Ps 51:4; Gen 39:7, 9)? 
• How bad do you feel about your sin (Ps 51:17)?

Forgiveness and Reconciliation. Desmond Tutu

"True reconciliation is not cheap. It cost God the death of His only begotten Son.

In forgiving, people are not asked to forget... Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done... It involves trying to understand the perpetrators and so have empathy, to try to stand in their shoes and appreciate the sorts of pressures and influences that might have conditioned them.

Forgiveness is not sentimental... Forgiveness means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim..."

Bishop Tutu.

Mercy, Couples, Grace from May 9 2010

2017 "Mercy is radical kindness. Mercy means offering or being offered aid in desperate straits. Mercy is not deserved. It involves absolving the unabsolvable, forgiving the unforgivable. Mercy brings us to the miracle of apology, given and accepted, to unashamed humility when we have erred or forgotten." Ann Lamott, Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscovering Mercy. Novelist.

Mercy — a word deceptive in its seeming softness, for beneath its surface radiance lurks a dark core: the very concept of mercy only exists because of and as a counterpoint to our capacity for cruelty. Mercy is the conscious choice to be kind when one can be cruel — without cruelty, there is no mercy. Brian Pickings.

2014  "True love is when two people's pathologies complement one another's." Alex Grey. Love is, by definition, crazy and irrational. And the best love works when our irrationalities complement one another and our flaws enamor one another. It may be our perfections that attract one another. But it's our imperfections that decide whether we (love each other) or not.

"Successful couples (all worthwhile friendships and relationships) accept and understand that some conflict is inevitable, that there will always be certain things they don't like about their partners or things they don't agree with, and that this is fine. You shouldn't need to feel the need to change somebody in order to love them. And you shouldn't let some disagreements get in the way of what is otherwise a happy and healthy relationship. 6healthy-relationship-habits. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes. Some battles are simply not worth fighting. And sometimes the most optimal relationship strategy is one of 'live and let live.'"

The sad result of preaching, teaching and emphasizing obedience, obeying the Bible and the Law, and the fear of preaching Grace: "Over the last couple of years, we have really been struggling with the preaching in our church as it has been very law laden and moralistic. After listening, I feel condemned with no power to overcome my lack of ability to obey. Over the last several months, I have found myself very spiritually depressed, to the point where I had no desire to even attend church. Pastors are so concerned about somehow preaching "too much grace" (as if that is possible), because they wrongly believe that type of preaching leads to antinomianism or licentiousness. But, I can testify that the opposite is actually true. I believe preaching only the law and giving little to no gospel actually leads to lawless living. When mainly law is preached, it leads to the realization that I can't follow it, so I might as well quit trying. At least, that's what has happened to me."  

2013 The gospel renews and makes mission vibrant. But mission burdens and makes people tired.

One cannot know God without reference to oneself and one cannot know oneself without reference to God.  

"The design of the gospel is to bring us to brokenness not brokendownness; to release the aroma of grace not the stench of shame." 

N.T. Wright on a "normal" day and writing: There is teaching, grandchildren, chickens to feed and clean out, shopping, examining Ph D theses, and all the other fun of family and academic life. But, left to myself (as has happened all too rarely!), I get up very early (5ish), say my prayers, have breakfast, and ideally am at the desk by about 6.30 or 7. Then I can have a really good morning before a late lunch, perhaps a walk, then back to work mid-afternoon, with supper around 7.30, read something for an hour or two, prayers and bed by 10.30 or 11.

However even within this (highly idealized) scenario, sometimes the 'work' will consist of simply writing, as fast as I can; sometimes of reading, slowly and carefully, a major new commentary or monograph; sometimes of a mixture of the two plus combing through journals, reviews, online materials … of all of these I prefer the writing task, because of the sheer joy of words and language and the delight in finding a creative way of saying something. The week in my life which most nearly corresponds to the ideal was the week, in spring 2006, when I wrote Acts for Everyone. I began it on a Saturday, had most of the Sunday off, and finished it in the small hours of the following Sunday. I have no idea how many thousand words that was but all I had to do was to sit down at the desk and turn on the tap. It was exhilarating. 

2012 "The mystery has been revealed, and yet, the mystery continues. It is within our grasp, yet it surpasses our knowledge. We are able to know the truth, yet are called to continue to move toward a God who clothes himself in darkness. Our faith is not blind, yet our certainty is in things not seen." Arnie Gentile.

2010 Pragmatic evangelism is "doing" evangelism in a way that elevates success & method over anything else. Pragmatic evangelism only asks the question "what works?" not "who are we to be as evangelists?" The greatest obstacle to healthy evangelism is pragmatism: "doing evangelism" b4 we ever think who we are meant to be. J Mack Stills.

Be Perfect in Showing Mercy (Matthew 18:21-35)

"When we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with Christ, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced (absolute) without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft and true witnesses without being manipulative." Henri Nouwen.

Lectionary text [5/10/2020]: Psalm 31:1-16; John 14:1-14

Jesus as Teacher. Matthew incorporates almost all of Mark's Gospel, but in 5 places he inserts extensive blocks of teaching (5:1-7:27; 10:5-42; 13:1-52; 18:1-35; 23:1-25:46). The end of each of these 5 sections says, "When Jesus had finished [etelesen] these words..." This accentuates Jesus' role as authoritative teacher. At the conclusion of TSOM "the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes/teachers of the law" (Mt 7:28-29).

• Why were people not moved [disinterested, turned off] by the way the religious leaders taught the Bible?

• How does Matthew end his Gospel (Mt 28:18-20)? What is the mandate of the "great commission"? 

• How does this ground the life and mission of the church (Mt 7:24-25)? 
• Why is training necessary if we want to follow Jesus (Mt 13:52; 1 Tim 4:7; 2 Cor 7:1; 2 Pet 1:5-8)?

• Is there a system to discipleship? What is the goal of discipleship?

• Is the community of the church necessary for one to follow Jesus? Can one follow Jesus without being trained in the community of the church?  

Jesus' Hard Teaching:

• "Be perfect" (Mt 5:48). Christians don't make excuses: "I'm only human." "I'm still a sinner." "No one's perfect."

• "...unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Mt 5:20).

• "...teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Mt 28:20). No way around teaching obedience. Teaching must be exemplified.

• "...every teacher...who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven..brings out...new treasures as well as old" (Mt 13:52). Am I a one trick pony?

• "...love your enemies" (Mt 5:44). Seriously?

• "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them" (Mt 6:1). Why do we like to show off our righteousness?

• "I desire mercy, not sacrifice" (Mt 9:13; 12:7; Hos 6:6).

• "But you have neglected the more important [weightier] matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness" (Mt 23:23).

• "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private" (Mt 18:15, NASB). Why is this straight forward instruction hard to do?

• "...forgive...from your heart" (Mt 18:35).

Gospel and Christology [The Moral Vision of the NT, Richard Hays]:

• Taking Up the Cross [Crucified Messiah] (Mark)

• Training for the Kingdom of Heaven [Teacher] (Matthew)

• Liberation through the Power of the Spirit [The Spirit of the Lord is upon me] (Luke-Acts)

• Loving One Another [Man from heaven] (John and Epistles)

Some thoughts & reflections:

• The problem is NOT the problem.

• Obedience [keeping the Law] {being right} and disobedience [breaking the Law] {being wrong} are NOT "gospel categories," since EVERYONE disobeys [breaks the Law] {is wrong}. Thus...

• Pointing out that someone is sleeping around or not sleeping around is NOT what helps anyone to change or repent.

• Watching porn or not watching porn is NOT the change that should be sought.

• Being great(er) or having no ambition whatever is not the problem. [Hard working or lazy. Accomplished or underachieving.]

Expose the Sin and Forgive (Matthew 18)

Lectionary [5/3/2020]: Ps 23; Jn 10:1-10.

1. Why are the disciples asking about who the greatest is (Mt 18:1; 16:21; 17:22)? What does this show about them?
2. Is being great a requirement for entering the kingdom of God (Mt 18:2-3)? What are kingdom people like (Mt 18:3-5)? What is required (Mt 18:3)? [child - paidion]
3. Who are the "little ones" [ton micron] (Mt 18:6a)? Why does Jesus use hyperbole--such drastic language toward those who cause others to stumble (Mt 18:6b-9; 1 Cor 12:12-20)?
4. What do disciples [we] incline to do with "little ones" (Mt 18:10a)? Why should we not (Mt 18:10b, 14)? How does Jesus illustrate this (Mt 18:12-13; Lk 15:4-7; Eze 34)? Is this pragmatic or prudent (Jn 11:50)?
5. 3 Steps for Conflict resolution. 
• What should you do when a fellow Christian sins [against you] (Mt 18:15a; Lev 19:17-18)? 
• Why? What is the ultimate objective (Mt 18:15b)? 
• What would this avoid? Why do we often NOT do so?
• What if the one who sins is a leader in the church (1 Tim 5:19-20)?
6. What is the role of the church (Mt 18:16-17; Dt 19:15)? 
• What does it mean to "treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector" (Mt 18:17)? 
• Why is church discipline important and necessary (Mt 18:18-20, 6, 1-5)? 
• On what basis does the church have such authority (Mt 18:18-20; 28:20)? 
• Is excommunication inconsistent with loving enemies and the golden rule (Mt 5:43-48; 7:12)?  
7. Why did Peter ask about the frequency of forgiving others (Mt 18:21)? Why did he chose "7 times" (Job 33:29-30; Amos 1:3; 2:6)? 
• How do we forgive others unlimitedly (Mt 18:22)? How much is 10,000 talents (Mt 18:24) and 100 denarii (Mt 18:28)? 
• Why do we not comprehend or grasp the greatness of God's forgiveness (Mt 18:23-31)? 
•  How serious is it to not forgive others (Mt 18:32-35)?
• What does an unforgiving heart show about the person?
• Does forgiveness involve restoring the relationship?

Reference:

1. Hays, Richard B. The Moral Vision of the New Testament: community, cross, new creation: a contemporary introduction to New Testament ethics. Part One, 3. The Gospel of Matthew: Training for the Kingdom of Heaven. 1996. HarperCollins Publishers, NY.
2. Hauerwas, Stanley. Matthew. Brazos Theological Commentary on the Bible. Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2006. MATTHEW 18: The Church.