The Way to Love, Anthony de Mello

• “If you look carefully you will see that there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is attachment. What is an attachment? An emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or some person you cannot be happy.”
• Those who most fear to die are the ones who most fear to live. That in running away from death we are running away from life. 177.
• “What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.”
• “You are never in love with anyone. You’re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person.”
• “Life is easy, life is delightful. It’s only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings.”
• “Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you.
• “Work becomes spiritual only when it is transformed into play.”
• “You see persons and things not as they are but as you are.”
• “The tragedy of an attachment is that if its object is not attained it causes unhappiness. But if it is attained, it does not cause happiness – it merely causes a flash of pleasure followed by weariness, and it is always accompanied, of course, by the anxiety that you may lose the object of your attachment.”
• “To those who seek to protect their ego true Peace brings only disturbance.”
• “You know, all mystics – Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion – are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.”
• “Is it possible for the rose to say, “I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?” Or is it possible for the lamp to say, “I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people?” Or can a tree say, “I’ll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad?” These are images of what love is about.”

• “Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you."
• To find the kingdom is the easiest thing in the world but also the most difficult. Easy because it is all around you and within you, and all you have to do is reach out and take possession of it. Difficult because if you wish to possess the kingdom you may possess nothing else. You must drop all inward leaning on any person or thing, withdrawing from them forever the power to thrill you, or excite you, or to give you a feeling of security or well being. Contrary to what your culture and religion have taught you, nothing, but absolutely nothing can make you happy. Things and people can't really give you a single minute of happiness. They can only offer you a temporary thrill, a pleasure that initially grows in intensity, then turns into pain if you lose them and into boredom if you keep them. Think of the numberless persons and things that so excited you in the past. 162-163.

• If you want to know what it means to be happy, look at a flower, a bird, a child; they are perfect images of the kingdom. For they live from moment to moment in the eternal now with no past and no future. They are spared the guilt and anxiety that so torment human beings and they are full of the sheer joy of living, taking delight not so much in persons or things as in life itself. As long as your happiness is caused or sustained by something or someone outside of you, you are still in the land of the dead. The day you are happy for no reason whatsoever, the day you find yourself taking delight in everything and in nothing, you will know that you have found the land of unending joy called the kingdom. 161-162.

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  Every painful event contains in itself a seed of growth and liberation. A simple truth of life that most people never discover: Happy events make life delightful but they do not lead to self-discovery and growth and freedom. That is reserved to the things and persons and situations that cause us pain. 157.

• Happiness Cannot Be Acquired by Anthony De Mello. 8 min. Rickshaw driver in Calcutta. AIDS patient with 6 months to live.
  
• The Root of Sorrow is Attachment by Anthony De Mello. 9 min.
  
• The Cause of Unhappiness. 8 min.
  
• Don't fall for this Trap | A Guide to Becoming Real ~ Anthony de Mello. 24 min. Given the drug called approval, praise, acceptance.
• Wake Up. Prayer. 1 1/2 hour talk.