A Friend's Love (John 21:1-25)

John 21:1-25; Key Verse: Jn 21:16,17

"Do you love me?"

How does a friend love? How does Jesus--the friend of sinners (Mt 11:19)--love?

Last week we considered the ABCD or the four ways/goals regarding what it means to follow Jesus. To be a Christ follower requires:

• Accountability. Gather Nathans to call us to be accountable (Heb 3:13). Being a Nathan to others (2 Tim 2:2).
• Basic Christianity: Love God (Dt 6:5). Live for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31). Jesus is Lord (1 Cor 12:3).
• Conformity to Christ (Rom 8:29) in church, community, campus, college, city, country, cosmos.
• Developing a whole life mission statement/a singular life goal and passion (Phil 3:10, 14; Ac 20:24).
  

To expand on what following Jesus practically looks like, each Christian needs to intentionally and continually:

• Connect to God: Worship.
• Connect to Church: Nurture (in community).
• Connect to the World: Witness.
• Connect to Culture: Contextualization.

A true friend. Jn 21:1-25 is the epilogue of John's Gospel. It shows how Jesus was a true friend to his disciples, particularly to Peter. To Jesus friendship is surely a core value. His disciples regarded Jesus as Teacher and Lord and rightly so (Jn 13:13). But Jesus regarded them as his friends. He said, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends..." (Jn 15:15).

What is a friend? Derek Kidner, a renowned OT scholar, says in his commentary on Proverbs that two qualities of friends are candor and constancy. Candor means to be honest and transparent, while constancy refers to faithfulness. Tim Keller says, "Friends always let you in (candor), but never let you down (constancy)." Just as God was a friend to Abraham, Jesus was a true friend for he allowed his friends into his very heart during the Upper Room Discourse in John 13-17. Even when his friends let him down by abandoning him to die alone, Jesus was also still there for his friends, as today's text shows.

How does Jesus, our Friend, love his friends?

1. He takes the initiative (Jn 21:1-5).
2. He helps his friends to succeed/blesses them (Jn 21:6-8).
3. He eats with friends/shares intimacy/reassures them (Jn 21:9-14).
4. He confronts in love (Jn 21:15-17).
5. He prophesies/invites (Jn 21:18-19).
6. He answers questions (Jn 21:20-25).

Our Christian life does not end with salvation but continues with discipleship. John's Gospel could have ended in Jn 20:30-31 when John explicitly states why he wrote his gospel account: that we might believe who Jesus truly is on account of the miraculous signs that were recorded. But John not only wants to write about the way of salvation through faith in the Son. He writes one more chapter to show that our Christian life does not end with salvation, but that is is only the beginning point, which is to be inevitably followed by the way of discipleship. It is discipleship through friendship and love. Let us see how Jesus, a true friend, loves his friends.

1. A friend takes the initiative (Jn 21:1-5)

Failure. The disciples had failed as disciples. In particular, Peter failed big time, by denying Jesus three times (Jn 18:15-18, 25-27). Now seven of them were together by the Sea of Tiberias (Jn 21:1-2). What would they now do with their lives? Peter said, "I'm going out to fish," and they said, "We'll go with you." So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing (Jn 21:3). They were at the end of their rope. They were at the end of themselves. They had hit rock bottom. Have you?

Ben's story. This account perfectly described my life prior to coming to Jesus in 1980. I should have felt triumphant since I succeeded in become a M.D. and coming to the U.S. against all odds. Though I looked like a victor outwardly, yet inwardly I felt empty and defeated by life, and by a sense of meaninglessness and lostness. Gen 1:2 aptly described my true inner self. When I began studying the Bible with a UBF missionary (John Lee) I felt God visiting me. When he did, I knew the darkness and selfishness of my life. More than anything else, I knew that I had lived my entire life forsaking the God who created me and loved me. I felt doomed and distressed, helpless and hopeless. What I knew I deserved was punishment and banishment. I was convinced that I deserved David's fate after he had committed adultery and murder, which was that he had to live out the devastating consequences of his sin by experiencing one horrific family disaster after another. Yet God visited me in my hopelessness and helplessness with tenderness and kindness. It was nothing but pure grace and pure light that dawned upon my dark soul.

Jesus visits his friends. Perhaps this was the moment of the disciples' despair over their utter failure. They failed as a disciple. They now failed as fishermen. They failed as a man. They had no where to go but downward. Jn 21:4-5 says, "Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, 'Friends, haven’t you any fish?' 'No,' they answered." Jesus took the initiative to visit his friends at the lowest point of their lives.

2. A friend helps his friends to succeed/blesses them (Jn 21:6-8)

"Rewarded" for being bad. In the world you reward those who are good, and you punish those who are bad. The disciples were bad disciples. They abandoned their master at the worst possible moment. They knew they were bad. They knew they deserved retribution. But what did Jesus, their friend do? "He said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.' When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish" (Jn 21:6). Though they had failed to catch any fish (Jn 21:3), Jesus helped them to succeed where they had failed. In short, Jesus "rewarded" them for being bad disciples. Jesus showed them exactly what the grace of God is like: To receive an undeserved and unearned blessing.

Free yet reverent. When Peter realized that it was Jesus who blessed them with a great catch of fish, his dead heart was opened and he lost all of his inhibitions, while maintaining his awesome reverence (Jn 21:7). Jesus is our God who does not treat us as our sins deserve. Ps 103:10 says, "he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities." One of the greatest errors of the church is perhaps to treat others "according to their sins." The church may be so afraid of sin, such that they think they can control and manage the sin in people's lives by trying to dictate behavior, such as what they can and cannot do, or how they should and should not behave or dress, etc. The Bible clearly does not advocate anarchy. But it does not advocate behavioral control either. No set of rules, no matter how wonderful, can ever change and transform a sinner's heart. Only the grace of Jesus can.

3. A friend eats with friends/reassures them/shares intimacy (Jn 21:9-14).

A surreal eternal picture of sublime never ending love. Jn 21:9-14 is like a surreal eternal picture of sublime never ending love, fellowship and friendship. "When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread" (Jn 21:9). It is like a warm welcoming home party that would soften and comfort the heart of anyone who comes. In the days of his flesh, Jesus washes his disciples' feet (Jn 13:1-17). Now, as their risen Lord, he serves them still (Jn 21:13): he meets their tiredness after a night of toil with a hot breakfast. They can begin to eat what he has cooked while some of the fish they have just caught are prepared (Jn 21:10-11).

Stunned silence. It is almost as if the disciples were reluctant to come, even as they were eager to be with him. Jesus must spell out the invitation, "Come and have breakfast" (Jn 21:12a). Jn 21:12b says, "None of the disciples dared ask him, 'Who are you?' They knew it was the Lord." Why would the disciples even want to ask him who he was if they knew who he was? Also, why did John say that they did not dare ask him? The disciples already knew that it is the Lord (Jn 21:7). Yet they were still so uneasy, so hesitant, so uncertain, that they apparently longed to ask him, in effect, "Is it really you, Lord?", yet dared not do so. Perhaps they were still grappling with the strangenes of a crucified and resurrected Messiah. Perhaps, they were confounded by Jesus' exuberant sentiment of love expressed toward them, while realizing that they had only underperformed even by their own standards.

Reassurance. "Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish" (Jn 21:13). Here, Jesus reassures them, meets their physical needs, serves them as he did before his passion. Jesus welcomed and loved them as beloved victors and conquerors, even though the stark reality was that they had stumbled and failed in every possible and conceivable way.

4. A friend confronts in love (Jn 21:15-17).

Agape and phileo. The meaning of this part hinges upon the usage of two synonyms for love: agape and phileo. In terms of interpretation, when twon synonyms are placed in close proximity in context, a difference in meaning, however slight, is emphasized. When Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, Jesus used agape, a word for love that signified total commitment. Peter responded with phileo, a word for love that signified his love for Jesus, but not necessarily his total commitment. This was not because Peter was reluctant to express that greater love, but because he had been disobedient and denied the Lord in the past. He was, perhaps, now reluctant to make a claim of supreme devotion when, in the past, his life did not support such a claim. Jesus pressed home to Peter the need for unswerving devotion by repeatedly asking Peter if he loved him supremely. The essential message here is that Jesus demands total commitment from His followers. Their love for him must place Him above their love for all else. Jesus confronted Peter with love because He wanted Peter to lead the apostles (Mt 16:18). But in order for Peter to be an effective shepherd, his overwhelming drive must exemplify supreme love for his Lord (Dt 6:5; Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30). [The MacArthur Study Bible, NASB, 2006, p 1594.]

Love supremely and exclusively. “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” (Jn 21:15a) Jesus wanted Peter to love Him so supremely as to forsake all that he was familiar with and be exclusively devoted to being a fisher of men (Mt 4:19; Mk 1:17; Lk 5:10). How did Peter respond? “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs” (Jn 21:15b). "Feed/tend my lambs" conveys the idea of being devoted to the Lord's service as an undershepherd who cares for His flock (1 Pet 5:1-4). The word has the idea of constantly feeding and nourishing the sheep. This served as a reminder that the primary duty of the messenger of Jesus Christ is to teach the Word of God (2 Tim 4:2). Acts 1-12 records Peter's obedience to this commission.

Lord, search my heart. The third time He asked Peter, Jesus used Peter's word for love (phileo) that signified something less than total devotion, questioning even that level of love Peter thought he was safe in claiming. The lessons driven home to Peter grieved his heart, so that he sought for a proper understanding of his heart, not by what he said or had done, but based on the Lord's omniscience. The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep" (Jn 21:17).

Speak the truth in love. Jesus is indeed our Friend who speaks the truth in love (Eph 4:15). Often when we speak the truth, our love is lacking. Or when we are loving others, we are afraid to speak the truth, because we think the truth will offend them. Tim Keller rightly says that when we speak the truth without love, we are not speaking the truth. Or when we love without speaking the truth, we are not loving. Jesus loved Peter with the truth, for Jesus is full of grace and truth (Jn 1:14).

5. A friend prophesies/invites (Jn 21:18-19).
6. A friend answers questions (Jn 21:20-25).

In this epilogue, John shows us Jesus who is the everlasting and unfailing friend and lover of his disciples. Jesus is the God who we might not be able to conceive of. Jesus is indeed a true faithful friend who never let his friends down. Jesus is such a friend to each of his children. We can only joyfully sing along with gratitude, "What a friend we have in Jesus." When we realize that we have such a friend, our heart leaps to follow him all our days.

Reference:

Carson, D.A. The Gospel According to John. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 1991. V. Epilogue (Jn 21:1-25). 665-686.