Marriage as Unjust Suffering (1 Peter 3:1-7)

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What kind of title is that? I suspect that many would not like this title. They might even be a little upset by the title. I was personally surprised to see such a title. So I was quite curious to see how John Frame (born 1939, renowned American philosopher, presuppositionalist, Calvinist theologian) would "justify" or explain such a title, since he is a godly married Christian man. (He married rather late in 1984 at age 45, which perhaps might explain why he came up with such a title in the days when he was still a bachelor!).

Christian marriage portrayed as too rosy? Before I read his sermon, I did think about several things regarding the way we older Christians portray Christian marriages which might actually be a disservice to our young Christian couples when they marry:

1. Sometimes Christian marriages and Christian families do not turn out as flowery and sweet, or as blessed and happy, as our Christian marriage sermons might make them out to be. There are several great Christians in history who were, sorry to say, horrible husbands: John Wesley, William Carey, AW Tozer. Sorry, if I burst the bubble of some.
   
2. Also, we older Christian couples tend to not share the "bad stuff" in our own marriages, but only the "good stuff." Worse yet, we imply that there is "mainly bliss" in our marriages, which may be true. Yet, such a tendency gives young Christian couples an unhealthy unrealistic expectation of their own marriage. As a result, they would have a tough time when they face issues and problems, since "the marriages of our older couples are so much happier than ours."
   
3. I need to state that my position is that I am pro-marriage in Christ, and those who know me know that I am VERY pro-marriage. So, if a Christian marriage goes south, or if the marriage is not happy, it bothers me. It doesn't surprise me. But it does bother me, because God is not glorified when a Christian marriage is unhappy, or when children of Christian parents are unhappy with their parents.
4. Sorry, kids, for the times I made your mom cry, primarily because of my roughness, insensitivity, self-centeredness, pride, and lack of compassion. What Frame says in his sermon touched my heart:
   

   "A wife in her frail body is a glorious child of God. For her Christian husband to be unkind to her, to treat her wrongly is to fail to honor the great work of God's grace in her. Dishonor God's image in your wife and you dishonor God himself."

How does Frame justify/explain his title of "Marriage as Unjust Suffering"? This is how he does it exegetically from 1 Peter:

1. A major theme of 1 Peter is the suffering of Christians. Peter wrote to Christians who were enduring various kinds of suffering (1 Pet 1:6). Some were persecuted for the sake of Christ (1 Pet 4:14), while others were suffering due to their own fault (1 Pet 2:20, 4:15). Our natural tendency would be to complain and blame God and others. But when we suffer, justly or unjustly, we Christians should look to the innocent One (1 Pet 1:19, 2:21-22) who endured the most wrongful, unjust suffering ever, and yet he did not retaliate (1 Pet 2:23). In this way, he saved us from all our vile sins against God (1 Pet 2:24; Ps 51:4).
   
2. Peter talks about suffering in different situations, such as under governments that give Christians a difficult time. Yet we should be good citizens, we should not break the Law, and we should submit to the governing authorities (1 Pet 2:13).
3. Next, Peter addresses suffering in the master/slave relationship (1 Pet 2:18-25), since more Christians were slaves than masters, and often their masters were wicked and cruel. Yet, they must be willing to suffer wrongfully, for that is the way of Christ.
4. What is the next suffering in Peter's next application? Look at the text. It is marriage! Marriage as persecution! Marriage as wrongful suffering! So, yes, there is a downside of marriage. So sorry to the starry eyed single Christians who are waiting for their very own knight in shining armor, or their very own Miss Christian Universe!
   

OK, I was being sarcastic there. But truly, marriage is not all fun and games, and not all romance and exhilaration. Why? It's simply because we are still selfish sinners, who need daily sanctification through the grace of God. But yes, there is an upside of marriage as well, which is surely nothing but the grace of Jesus. Hopefully, I may expound on the upside of marriage soon...

Reference: Marriage AsUnjust Suffering (1 Peter 3:1-7), John Frame.